06/02/2021- Bike Ride

Being a Monk is a pretty good gig, just think about it, your get to wear a weird hairdo, walk around in a bathrobe and sandals; you get to make fudge, wine, and sometimes even brandy and you’re looked on as a religious icon, the women part is someone tenuous, unless you covert into inflatable girlfriends, Monks do have loopholes when it comes to women. Who else walks around wearing a bathrobe & Fip Flops? Monks, Astrophysicists, and Nuclear Scientists, however, their hairstyles are somewhat different but still fall in the 3 Stooges range. Maybe I unknowingly tried to emulate a monk when I was operating my Boozeatorium as far as the booze goes. Free housing another monk perk, they even make Religious recordings of these guys singing in the shower, when I do that I typically get yelled at. I donated blood on 5/24 they keep taking it (I’m always surprised went blood comes out of my arm), as a reward I get to eat cookies afterward, plus someone I don’t even know gets a free drunk after getting a transfusion!

During my misspent youth, my buddies and I would head out to what was called, “7 Hills,” in Riverside IL. Initially, it took me a while to find it, 7 consecutive hills, like a roller coaster, if I pedaled my bike fast enough I could get my bike to become “airborne,” for a second, at the crest of some of those hills, actually, it was relatively safe, compared to my other youthful activities; my parents had no Earthly idea where I went after school & on weekends. Then there was “Dare-devil Hill,” located less than ¼ mile from 7 Hills; which was absolutely terrifying a 60-foot drop, most of it with a 60-degree decline, brakes were useless, put the brakes on your going to flip. There were two large trees about 3.5 feet apart I had to go in-between them, you couldn’t go around them. I’d be going over 20 MPH when I passed them! I never knew anyone personally who hit one, but I saw plenty of other kids I didn’t know, who hit one of those trees, the Police Station was just down the street, so you just tell the cops you need another ambulance at Dare Devil Hill. Eventually Riverside installed a chain-link fence around those trees, marking the end of “Dare-devil Hill.

The daisies were blooming today, so I hopped off my bike to give them a sniff with my “Snoozola.” I sniffed & sniffed, no odor! Do I have COVID? No, I don’t think so, I can still smell the Honeysuckles and those bars of soap they stick in the Urinals at the Gin Mills I frequent. It’s like my Dad said, When you go sniffing flowers always get a good hold of your pants, you don’t want to get embarrassed, good advice.
Ace Reporter,     Tommy