Wonderful Bike Ride 7/11/2020

Perhaps the bike ride wasn’t so “wonderful.” Unfortunately, the rain put the “kibosh” on that part of the event. The after-party was attended to by three people, Jean and Pat C.h, and yours truly “Ace Reporter.” By the time Jean and Pat arrived, it stopped raining. It was great seeing them, and hearing about their COVID-19 experiences. I didn’t catch COVID-19 yet, so I was limited to talking about the time I had the hiccups; a common alcohol-related malaise. 

Pat said, “We both have bicycles, but we never ride them. They’re hanging on the garage wall. However, we still get great exercise and physical benefit from them. We use Osmosis (thinking about bike riding), plus it saves on wear and tear on the bikes.” I said, “I used that technique in high school; when I did my homework, it saved on wear & tear on my brain!” During our visit a hummingbird flew by. 

I bragged about my yearly bike riding activities; Jean and Pat didn’t seem that intrigued about having a bicycle honking demonstration on this occasion for some reason. 

We sat on the patio as we talked about our misadventures during our “troubled youth.” This included Nuggies, Indian Rubs, Wet Willie’s, Wedgies, Atomic Wedgies. They knew of one I never heard of, the “Canadian Handshake,” which was truly impressive. 

In high school, in the cafeteria, we used to punch a hole through the lip of a chocolate milk carton, when the individual we were “pranking,” wasn’t paying attention. Then as the victim drank the remaining milk his shirt unknowingly became saturated with milk. This resulted in a stinky shirt as the milk soured during the remainder of the day. It was the old ”sour milk on the shirt,” gag. We all bragged about all the detentions we got. Now when we get caught doing some malfeasance we just get “fired.” 

Wearing the mask part of the pandemic is fun because it allows me to scare little kids at the store. 

We had plenty to eat. I told them about my grandchildren and how I was teaching my oldest grandson Theo (5 years old) about the fly in the ice cube gag, hand buzzers, snap gum, bug-eyed glasses, and the sneeze whistle. I’m older now and have money with access to the internet. I can buy all this wonderful stuff. 

COVID-19 is making my visits difficult, my daughter says, “Maybe that’s a good thing.”