6 People came to this highly touted party; Milanne & Dave S; Jean & Patrick C; Johnny A and yours truly the “Ace Reporter.” The -60 F degree weather, fortunately, didn’t detour anyone. Johnny A was the last to arrive he looked like an Antarctica type explorer, he said his heater doesn’t work so well, he drove his Mini-Van and surprisingly it made it by defying the laws of physics! Fortunately, very few people brought stuff to eat or drink, I was running out of room to stack stuff. I got an E-Mail from Pat Sullivan saying it’s +60F in Littlerock Arkansas, while it’s -60 F wind chill here in Merry Old Chicago.
Patrick (Pat) C has really lost a bunch of weight, he said, “it’s so when we sell our existing house and move into a smaller house, it’ll seem like it’s still the big house.” I also lost some weight but nothing like Pat; who said “typically I eat a lettuce leaf with half a teaspoon of vinegar for Breakfast, Lunch & Dinner! Ahead of lettuce lasts at least 4 weeks, last Christmas I splurged and also had an olive (stuff with pimento) for my Christmas feast. One of Pat’s concerns now is if he sneezes his pants might fall down, I must admit he looks great! I have also lost weight but I’ve been known to eat a Hot-Dog on occasion. Lot’s of exuberant yelling while Tampa trounced Kansas City 31 -9. The half time show featured some guy named Weekend, who sounded as bad as his name and I was looking forward to a halftime wardrobe malfunction (like all the other guys), which wasn’t in the cards;- with Weekend, who would care if it did? So rather than listen to him, by popular demand, I switched over the TV to listen to some bop, as I did at my parties of yesteryear in Elmwood Park; Since there were 4 guys and 2 gals we voted to watch Blurred Lines (Robin Thick) for some reason; then- Pop Music (M) and; Man, I feel like a Woman (Shania Twain) to accommodate the Babes. Then we continued watching Kansas City being destroyed.
It was great seeing everyone; I told a couple of jokes, there was one nobody “got,” which means it was an “El-Stinko Joke.” Johnny was attempting to create interest in our “Virtual Monthly Meetings,” which is always a stretch. Dave S said, “with the arctic weather the Racoons, Possums, Squirrels (no Skunks yet) another-words outdoor wildlife have been coming into his office area in Morris, seeking warmth and leftovers. He stated that’ll he’ll have to set the traps up again in his office. Dave said that he was only watching the Superbowl as a courtesy, I told him I remember little girls wearing little pink dresses doing the courtesy, many years ago. Later we imbibed with two toasts commemorating Laura’s S’s passing; One was from a bottle she brought me from Mexico called,” “Don, Tadeo; Licor De Granada,” I have no idea what that means, maybe its a curse. To me tastes and looks like some type of purple fruit, it came in a very fancy and odd-looking bottle; as a treat we let Pat sniff the cork, which he enjoyed. Then we had a shot of Laura’s favorite liquor, Jack Daniels Fire, which is cinnamon flavored and lives up to its name. We were going to let Pat have a sniff of the bottle cap on that one as well, but Jean said, “better not, it’ll fog up his glasses and he’ll miss watching the Superbowl. Johnny commented on my “low rider toilets,” something about “Squatters Rights.” Sea Weed was available at this event, however, nobody took advantage of this delicious treat, as tempting as a seaweed-cracker sandwich might sound no one was interested.
My landlord and his infinite wisdom when he built this place without any insulation and he didn’t bury the drain line deep enough or on the correct angle so it freezes when it’s below +15 F for any length of time resulting in my kitchen flooding every time I wash clothes. Frogs would love it, however, being -60F outside the humidity in my apartment is around 0.0005% so it evaporates quickly within 2 possibly 3 days and it washes off the bottom of my shoes as well.
Ace Reporter, Tommy