12/12/20 Nature Walk


Since no one signed up, for this fantastic event, it was just Tall Club Wannabe Linda (my sister) and yours truly and we didn’t hike but rode our bikes; in Brookfield, a 13.5-mile jaunt through the Forest Preserve along Salt Creek; we actually went on Wednesday making my “not to be missed,” events quite flexible (it ended up rainy & cold on Saturday anyway), unlike the Paramount calendar indicates; the weather was great sunny and around 50 degrees. I provided all the necessary and unnecessary honking with my assortment of horns; bells and even a siren (that’s about ready to go on the Fritz), there were only two of us but we made enough noise for about 20 bicycle riders.

One downside from all my honking is that we don’t get to see as much wildlife for some reason. This was the same path that the Cook County Precision Fire Team burned all the undergrowth previously. The result was a charred landscape devoid of anything that a Deer, Duck, or any Wild Life for that matter, could possibly consume. It did provide a Christmasy landscape as you can imagine with not much snow at 50F, in the charred remains of the forest preserve wasteland. I’m glad that when the Cook County Precision Fire Team was burning the under-brush they had “fire is our friend,” signs were up so I’d know what was going on. I can only assume they know what they’re doing.

Linda isn’t that big on walking since she had her knee replaced, I keep telling her that she got the cheap knee job made out of an old trailer hitch that was converted into a knee replacement. She says her knee replacement leg weighs about 20 pounds more than the other squeaky knee, so she prefers bike riding. You’d think with her lousy knees I would leave her in the dust, but she really can go. It’s been a while since I went bike riding so I had to pump up the tires. Linda told me she doesn’t want another case of beer as a Christmas gift this year, which was nice for me because it gives me something to drink when I go over to visit her. As an afterthought, those “Fine For Hunting,” signs that are posted everywhere in the Forest Preserve need to be changed to “Lousy For Hunting.”

Ace Reporter, Tommy

12/13/20 Sliccily’s; Bear’s Football Game


 Only 2 members Milanne & me plus one Tall Club Wannabe, Dave S. attended, this not to be missed event. Sliccily’s is a great place mainly because the owner (Chris) participates and encourages our Tall Club shenanigans. What’s disheartening is that Sliccily’s was basically empty during this event due to the COVID epidemic, I can’t imagine how such a place can eventually avoid going bankrupt!

The Bears totally annihilated the Texans; 33 to 7 (I think) so Milanne and I got to sing the “Bears Fight Song,” 3 times. While Dave didn’t participate, because the NFL football players disrespect our National Anthem. He does have a point, Dave is steadfast in his belief, facing away from the Football Game in its entirety. The way I look at it, why should I miss this not to be missed event because of this disrespect, which has zero effect from me watching or not watching the game, from which I get to yell at and enjoy excessively. I had to sing extra loud to make up for the absence of Dave S wonderful singing voice.

Dave now only watches sports that only support our National Anthem, such as Curling, Synchronized Swimming, Shuffle Board, and Horseshoes. Many of these sporting events have been canceled as well due to COVID. It’s pretty hard yelling at the TV for these events because they’re really not that exciting, plus they’re rarely shown on TV anyway, we live in troubled times. I brought my singing Christmas Hat to this event which never fails to amaze. Milanne really brightened up the place with all her flashing Christmas decorations (which I being a “Big Spender,”) pick up at the dollar store and pass out to beautiful women. Eventually, Dave S did state that he was getting Memorized then Hypnotized by the flashing earrings and necklace, throughout the entire game, I’m surprised that the batteries lasted that long. Being a “retired engineer,” I’m drawn to flashing lights. We practiced safe distancing, we even talked about missing the Man Show and how Jimmy Kimbel (Man Show host) has become politicized and has gone to the “Dark Side.” eliminating his status as an Icon to “Hen Pecked Men,” all over our great nation. The Christmas Holidays will be pretty lame without the 12 “Tall Club, Days Of Christmas,” parties this year. Also, I had a page of jokes I forgot to bring which Dave missed and Milanne was grateful I had an Alzheimer’s moment.

Ace Reporter; Tommy

Nature Walk 12/23/2020


Only one person showed up for this unannounced festive “Nature Walk,” me! It was 51 degree’s and one of the windiest days ever. It was equivalent to being inside of a Tornado my ears were flapping around like a pickup truck going down the freeway with the doors open. The weather was suppose to drop down to around -3 degrees Thursday, Winter is here.

One of my “great Ideas,” this Christmas is;- Theo my 6 year old Grandson is losing his baby teeth. He gets $5 for each one of teeth he leaves under is pillow from the “Tooth Fairy,” (I use to get 25 cents.) What I contrived is;- I bought a box of Tic-Tac’s there’s got to be over 100 of them in that box. So Theo will tell his Mom, “I lost 4 teeth today,” he’ll put 4 Tic Tac’s in a napkin under his pillow and wait for the money to start rolling in, however if my Daughter looks at these “teeth,” the gig will probably be up. Still worth a shot. Theo “stooled on me!” He was worried about not being a “good Boy,” and getting on Santa’s naughty list

I checked out the American Legion in Lockport to which I am a party to. Only to discover that only allow Members and their spouses in. All activities have pretty much been canceled. My cable just went out, probably blown down thank’s to the 230 MPH winds we have. If the power goes out I can only read until it gets dark. I don’t know of anybody that lives in Aurora to bad we could go over and watch the Aurora Borealis.

Ace Reporter Tommy 


Football Game Milanne’s 12/27/20


 The current COVID lockdown started before Thanksgiving, it’s a bit disheartening that this “Lockdown,” is still going on in 2021 with no sign of it ending; when will it end? Then there’s that Forbearance, maybe postponed with the latest stimulus package. Getting back to the football extravaganza;4 people showed up to this fantastic event; Milanne, Johnny A and yours truly ace reporter and Tall Club wannabe, Dave S. We got to watch the Bears clobber the lousiest team in Football, the Jacksonville Jaguars, proving that the Bad News Bears aren’t the worst team in professional football. We sang the Bears fight song 4 times, which is somewhat of a challenge wearing a mask, hard not to end up chewing on the mask, which affects my singing voice.

With New Years Right Around the corner, we cumulatively decided to make our official 2021; New Years Resolutions;- Eat More, Drink More Booze; Order a Pizza 5 minutes before Midnight then when it arrives say,”I ordered this damn pizza last year.” Not Get Any Women Pregnant This Year (Milanne rolled her eyes over that resolution); Load up on Carbs; Send our Ex-Wife’s or Husband’s “Get Well Cards,” on their Birthdays; Don’t go to the gym; Eat more fatty foods; Consider taking a Daily Walk; Don’t get caught at whatever your doing; Yell at the TV during football games; Throw out the scale: Learn how to cheat at cards and to Stop listening to Christmas Carols.

Nobody got their Christmas Wish; a Million dollars and a “Get Out Of Jail Free Pass,” I guess Santa was too busy filling our stocking with coal. For the first time in history, Milanne didn’t get any cats or crock pots as gifts, this year for Christmas. Instead, she got two plastic kitty scoops (made at Dave S place of employment, Dave said he picked them out of the reject bin); Dave S got a 20 pound Ham spiral cut for Christmas, he said he was tired of eating baloney. John is in the process of converting his Minivan into an anchor, he found a junkyard that has a crusher, “that may be the best thing that can happen to my minivan, he can use it on his yacht.” I on the other hand got a lifetime supply of rubber roaches.


Ace Reporter, Tommy

12/30/2020: Mexican Dinner O’Sullivan’s Forest Park


 As usual, parking is very tricky;- park in the wrong spot you get towed, Forest Park is loaded with numerous confusing parking signs everywhere (You might need to take along a lawyer when determining where to park). Taco Wednesday 3 large tasty taco’s with a side for $10.00 and Mexican Beer is on sale. 3 people showed up Milanne, Dave S (Tall club wannabe), and yours truly Ace Reporter.

We discussed taking down our plastic Christmas trees and how sad life will be without the Happy Yuletide Decorations, including my “Dancing Christmas Hat,” that Laura gave me, followed by 100 days of freezing snow and ice, on top of a COVID shutdown. No more Alvin & The Chipmunks this year. I brought a couple of my Christmas Rubber Roaches to liven up this event, which got the waitress to jump, always a funny gag, what a great invention!  I did manage to sneak in a lame joke. I have to use “new,” jokes around Milanne & Dave because they know all the punch lines to my old jokes, which always results in groaning and saying, “that’s the stupidest joke I ever heard.”

To make-a-da wine; First Taka Off Shoes; wash-a-da feet and fruit; then destem, peel or whatever to prepare fruit, followed by foot-stomping the fruit, sometimes I end up with purple feet until I changed my socks; Puta in a bucket with a cover and a lot sugar then putta in a fancy yeast (very critical) with a high tolerance from toxic alcohol, sticka in bubbler to keep air out unless you like vinegar, mixa up every two weeks; let foment 6-9 months. Next biga messy job to filter multiple times; and sticka in and siphonify witha hose, I always end up with a sticky floor, sucka up juice to empty bucket. Biga mess; then measure alcohol with a Hydrometer to make sure you get juiced up, You could stop fermentation with Potassium Sorbate, but that’s no fun, I wanna get “buzzed up,” Siphonify into empty beer bottles and cap. Unfortunately, Milanne & Dave inadvertently got beer (not wine) that skunkified after 90 days because it’s not homomoninized when beer ferments into a totally undrinkable, awful tasting wine so Milanne & Dave kept this “Shunky Beer” down in their basement for 8 years which put it beyond skunkified. It looka like coffee and tastea like horse piss.

It’ll be nice once we get the COVID shot and all this nonsense can stop, just to practice getting a shot, we each had a shot of Old Crow (Wild Turkey was too expensive). O’Sullivans was the very place I went in error to the Women’s washroom years ago, nothing like the Men’s Room, very clean. Interesting stuff, written on the wall, like, “for a good time call Charlie etc. or On wall in ladies room “My husband follows me everywhere…” Written just below it “I do not”. O’Sullivans was also the place years ago, at a Tall Club Bears Football event, when the management tried to get us to stay inside because they didn’t want to open the outdoor area, they told us the outdoor TV was on the Fritz; after we started yelling, our exuberance was overwhelming, that changed in a hurry.