10/23/20; Pub Crawl Morris Illinois


Since Pritzker shut down all the Gin Mills around Chicago, due to COVID, I had to go to Morris which is in Grundy County (which hasn’t been shut down) where I had a good time with Milanne & Dave S. Pretty cold outside, I found out that Eric sold his townhouse in 8 days! Apparently his torture chamber was a highly sought after feature.

Morris was “hopping” with many refugees escaping Pritzker’s COVID mandate around Chicago. Rather than get “kicked” out of Gin Mills, this time, we vacated the premises before we got kicked out with a pre-planned itinerary. We’d leave a $0.25 tip and head for dodge. We did kind of get lost when we went from Gin Mill #2 to Gin Mill #3, resulting in a rare chance to “sober-up,” due to the cold weather (totally inventor-rating). It’s easy to get lost in Morris IL, with its 20,000 inhabitants, it’s over 18 blocks long.

I was surprised Milanne was even in town. Milanne didn’t go to visit her Brother in Houston this year, I thought this was due to hurricane Delta inundating Houston with a flood, but that was wrong. What’s the point in visiting your Brother when he’s in jail? No that wasn’t it either, maybe it’s because Milanne wants to vote, no that’s not it either because her Precinct Captain does that for her. I actually think Milanne stayed because Dave S does such a bum job cleaning up after her numerous cats when she’s gone.

We lamented on my Boozetorium of yesteryear, with the exploding wine bottles I concocted, always challenging opening a bottle of Castleberry Wine, without getting your head blown off. Milanne says she still has a case in her basement right next to the Kitty Litter box (a place of honor). She told me, no wine bottles have exploded in over 2 years! No more Boozetorium’s for me, I’d ruin the carpet, at my apartment. When I make wine I always ended up with a really sticky floor, so sticky in fact, when I was wearing slippers once, my foot would came right out of the slipper, a novel experience. I had to “hop” back over to yank the slipper off the floor, if my bare foot would’ve touched the floor, I would ended it having to wash it. The linoleum floor I had in Elmwood Park is a lot easier to clean than my carpeted floor in Lockport. My wine really doesn’t taste that hot, but it really has a kick.


10/22/2020; COVID Nature Walk, Centennial Trail


The one warm day after a terrific rainstorm the previous night, lots of mud-puddles. Normally this is where I ride on my Bicycle; one of the places I visited was “Heritage Village,” a place where Lockport stuck a bunch of old buildings, normally Heritage Village is all locked up; the only time it’s open is during “Lockport’s Canal Days, canceled this year due to COVID.  Heritage Village also features a Wiccan fireside circle (the witches were not there, only their benches in a circle, especially pertinent this time of the year with Halloween right around the corner). I have to behave myself when the witches are around or they’ll “hex me.” I also took pictures of me next to the Privy and the Whose-Scow (jail), if I was alive and living in Heritage Village in 1880; that would’ve been my domicile.

10/4/20 A conversation about Dave’s Yacht


 Dave S says, “everybody gives me the business about me never getting my yacht wet, but in reality, it’s reality has made my job sweet. As you know my Yacht is stashed away in the warehouse where I work. So when I’m at work, I’m thinking, this working all the time is for the birds, I need to take a snooze; so I climb into my yacht. Then I pull up the ladder to keep the ‘Nosy Nellie’s’ from spilling the beans, you know; catching me taking a nap. I’d really be in “Dutch” if my boss ever found out about that, imagine the Song & Dance story I’d have to come with. So, I got my boss trained to call me on my smartphone rather than page me on the PA, so no problem there.”

The summer no problem it stays relatively cool in the warehouse, but the winter it really gets cold. The warehouse is only heated to +45 degrees. I turned up the thermostat up to 65 (perfect sleeping weather), last winter. That’s when my boss (owner) blew a gasket when the gas bill went up over $4,200. a month! I could’ve gotten in Dutch on that one, so I blamed the janitor for turning up the thermostat. The machinery in the warehouse makes noise and masks my snoring, sometimes when I wake up everything is pitch black! Which is OK because I’m still on the clock and have my trusty flashlight. Normally the night watchman is asleep, one time he was awake (I could see his flashlight) walking around; he’ll probably catch me sneaking out, so I threw a 3” bolt across the warehouse when he went to investigate the noise I punched out on my time card and snuck out. To get this to work even better I need to get a thermo-sleeping bag and battery-powered alarm clock. Then I’d be all set; I might not retire until I’m 75 or 80 years old and the OT is great!

Ace Reporter, Tommy

Unscheduled Event 10/2/20: Pub Crawl


 After donating a couple quarts if blood I met Dave S in Morris IL, I met him at Greenhorns where a 16 oz. draft beer goes for $1.00 during happy hour (3-5 PM) so we got “sauced” easy to do when I was a quart low on blood (some lucky recipient of my blood gets a free drunk on me). Normally at this time of the year, the Tall Club is engaging in watching Football Games at various Gin Mills throughout Chicago-land and we’d be doing a lot of enjoyable yelling at the TV, not so much this year due to the politicization of our National Anthem, so instead of yelling about football, we were yelling about the past Presidential debate (9/29-Tuesday).

Because we enjoy yelling so much, we like to yell against and with each other (unlike yelling at each other when I was married) it’s a unique and engaging way of arguing; eventually this roils up the clientele at various gin mills we were frequenting, after awhile the management tells us to either clam up or get out. So we ended up getting kicked out of 3 gin mills on one night, a record (Dave S knows of 14 Gin Mills in Morris, there’s two of them that won’t even let him in; leaving 12 remaining possibilities).

Eventually, Milanne showed up and took Dave S away to a place called Ottawa to hear a Polka Band (the closest you’ll get to an Oktoberfest this year; do you know why they call it Oktoberfest? Because it’s typically in September!). The band whose name escapes me, they’re signature song is, “In Heaven There Is No Beer Polka. Dave S he’s going to request “Pull My Finger Polka,” to liven things up. They invited me to go along with them which I declined, although I really do enjoy Polka music.

Ace Reporter, Tommy

10/3 Movie Matinee Review


10/3 Matinee Pre-Party;- I called my Non-Tall Club wannabe sister and we went for a 13.5 mile Brookfield Bike Path Bike Ride. Somewhat cool actually very c

old when we started 50 degrees (I’m such a sissy, it was 58 degrees by the time we finished). The bike path pretty crowded, even so I claim the 

title of “Champion Bicycle Honker.” We saw two deer, one within 10 feet from the bike path. I need to bring along a shotgun, nothing like deer hunting in a Forest Preserve, where the deer have no fear of humans. My sister just got back from Seattle where her married son lives and now with a brand new beautiful Granddaughter (Sloan, that’s right it’s also the name of a Urinal Valve).

She’s about two month’s old and is currently a 13 pound air raid siren, Linda say’s, “ I can’t wait until she’s old enough for me to spoil.” Still not potty trained and too young to teach her how to cheat at cards.

10/3 Matinee Movie Party; Nobody called up for this not to be missed event, however Tom R showed up and we picked “Hellboy” as the flick to watch. A dated adventure

 of a superhero fighting villains, monsters and the like. My apartment is now decked out in Halloween garb, fortunately Tom R wasn’t scared. The pizza I had was awful, very similar to the last one. We managed to catch a quick look at a hummingbird, at my bird-feeder, which probably will be migrating

 shortly. As usual I got drunk watching the movie, which makes it seem “so real.”